I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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