just tell him i said nine months
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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