Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
