So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
