is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
