i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
