It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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