best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
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laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
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Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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