How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I think people are normalizing furries
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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