he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
