i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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