dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize