omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
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