i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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