he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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