So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
