we have officially lost it.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
whose ass print is on the piano?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize