I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
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the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
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Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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