And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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