he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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