community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
if only i could text you this smell
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize