Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
