yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
