sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
