I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
