i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
