woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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