i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
