that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
