somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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