I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
