you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
