I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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