The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
