I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
