"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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