I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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