just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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