apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
