I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
