we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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