Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
she pinky promised me she was 18
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
