she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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