i need an iv and a liver transplant
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
