Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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