Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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