I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
