I want to stick my p in your. b.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
