we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Randomize
