dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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