My liver just broke up with me...
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
