hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
