Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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