I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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