Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
