I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
