can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
