so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
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