i think my tv is drunk
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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