My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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