You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
