what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
