Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
