btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
it wasn't lemon gatorade
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize