I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
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THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
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I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize