weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
