Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
