hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
