You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
