ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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