Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It's official drugs can't kill me
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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