He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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