and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
