I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I'm always down for nudity.
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